


Pants!

by one_of_those_crushing_scenes



Category: New Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Pants, Post-Secret Invasion, Secret Invasion (Marvel), Shaving, Smash the Patriarchy, The Author Regrets Nothing, this is pure silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 12:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12059391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_of_those_crushing_scenes/pseuds/one_of_those_crushing_scenes
Summary: Or, the story behind Mockingbird's costume change when she returned to Earth.I don't even know.Pure fluff.





	Pants!

The New Avengers team is very nice, even through all the chaos, but she’s still a little confused about the new world order.

“So we’re not on speaking terms with any of the old crew anymore?” Bobbi asks Clint, when they’re alone in their room and there's finally some breathing time. “Rhodey, Tony, Greer, Simon, all of them? They _all_ turned into evil fascists?”

Clint shrugs. “You were gone a long time.”

“And Wanda? She’s… what, missing?”

Clint’s entire face goes red, and he seems to choke on a cough. “Uh, yeah, something like that.”

“Oh, no, Clint, what did you do?”

“What you think I did, I did.”

She shakes her head. “Whatever. I can’t believe we’re enemies with our old teammates.”

“I know,” he says, “it’s so out of character for them.”

“I can't believe I'm back!” It's been a few days, but she can't stop marvelling at how familiar everything is, even the things that are new.

“Me neither.” He turns those eyes onto her, and she knows that they need to discuss the status of their relationship at one point, but that point doesn't need to be today. Today, she wants to enjoy everything she was missing for the past few years.

When they're done enjoying, Clint is lying in bed, on top of the blanket—no trace of modesty or self-consciousness in him—and she still feels antsy.

“I’ve got to get out,” she says, getting up. “Take a walk, look around, breathe in that fresh Manhattan air.”

“You want company?”

“No, no, I need to be alone for a bit. I’ll be back...I won’t be out too late.”

She gets dressed in the clothing Jessica, Luke Cage’s wife, is lending her, and her gaze lingers on her costume, the blue and white leotard, draped over a chair on the corner of the room. She hesitates for a second, then grabs the costume and stuffs it into her purse.

“Mmmkay. Have fun,” Clint says, his eyes closing as he speaks.

She gives him a quick kiss on the forehead. “You nap. I'll see you later.”

 

 

The Avengers Mansion is abandoned and run-down, which makes her sadder than she expected, considering how little time she actually spent at the New York headquarters. It was a symbol, though--a bright, shiny reminder that there were good people out there who risked their lives daily to save the world.

She misses bright and shiny.

“Hey, lady, give me your wallet.”

She sighs and turns around. It’s a teenage boy with a knife and two friends backing him up. She tries reasoning with them first. “Go away.”

So maybe she’s out of practice with reasoning.

“Your wallet,” the kid repeats.

She crosses her arms. “Are you seriously trying to mug me right next to the Avengers Mansion?”

“No Avengers there now, are there?”

“There is one,” Bobbi retorts, grabbing the guy’s wrist and squeezing it just hard enough to make him drop the knife.

“Make that two,” says a voice behind her, as the Black Widow steps out of the shadows.

“Oh, shit,” says Backup Guy Number One.

“We should go,” says Backup Guy Number Two. “Thanks for saving the world!”

The three kids turn tail and run.

Bobbi rolls her eyes watching them leave, then waits a few seconds, squeals, and throws her arms around the other woman. “Oh my God, Natasha, it’s so good to see you!”

“Likewise,” Natasha replies, returning the hug. “I mean… you’re not dead. That is really, really wonderful news.”

“Isn't it, though?” Bobbi says.

And that's when Leap-frog attacks.

 

 

Afterwards, they head to Natasha’s apartment.

“You can shower first,” Natasha offers. “Let me just get you a towel and a change of clothing.”

“Thanks. Are those slime grenade things that he had new? I’ve never seen them before.”

“Me neither. I think the gunk was supposed to slow us down. That’s what he kept shouting, anyway.” Natasha moves into the hallway and opens a closet. She takes a towel out, then continues down the hallway.

Bobbi waits for her in the foyer, careful not to sit down or touch anything. She’s covered in goo, splashback from all the slime bombs hitting the street. “I never understand why bad guys do that. That whole shouting their entire plan thing.”

Natasha comes back with a pile of clothing, which she hands to Bobbi. “Good thing his aim was so dreadful.”

“Yeah. Thanks for this.”

“Of course.”

 

 

The water feels amazing, and that’s even before the soap. The New Avengers team is, like, ninety-five percent testosterone, and she hasn’t gotten in even basic shopping yet, so she’s stuck with the pharmacy brand stuff that Clint uses--not that she’s about to complain after being a fugitive-slash-prisoner for the past three years, but this lavender shower gel feels like heaven right now. She takes her time, makes sure to massage her scalp and in between her toes before turning the water back on and rinsing off.

The door opens a crack. “Is it okay if I come in?” Natasha asks. “I don’t think I can hold off on brushing my teeth any longer.”

“No problem,” Bobbi calls. She finishes rinsing away the suds, washing the filthy water circle the drain, and then turns it off. “Hand me that towel, will you?”

The towel is thrown over the curtain rod, and she snags it and starts starts drying herself off, hair first and heading downwards. After drying off her torso, she places a leg on the edge of the tub to rub the towel up her leg.

“Oh, man,” she sighs. “I’m going to have to start shaving my legs again, aren’t I.”

“Hmmm?”

She dries the second leg, then wraps the towel around herself and draws back the curtain. “One good thing about being abducted by aliens is that you don’t need to worry about your looks most of the time. Nobody expects you to shave your legs in space.”

There’s a toothbrush in Natasha’s mouth, so her words aren’t entirely clear, but Bobbi thinks she's saying something about not having considered that before.

“Well, I’m going to have to start again. Ugh, what a waste of time. Earth is so dumb. And can you imagine if I just didn’t? All of the newspapers would be like: ‘Avengers save the world again! In other equally important news, check out Mockingbird’s leg fuzz!’”

Natasha spits, then rinses, then spits again. “You know, I rarely shave my legs. Once in a while, when I need to wear a dress for whatever reason, sure, but most of the time, I don’t bother.”

“Yeah, because your costume has pants.”

All of a sudden, they freeze and look at each other.

“You know, you’ve been out of the public eye for a while,” Natasha says.

“I should probably mix things up a bit.”

“Show them it’s not the same old Mockingbird. You’re Mockingbird 2.0.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“It’s new millennium slang. You’ll catch up.”

“Nat?”

“Yes?”

“I need pants.”

“Yes.”

“Can I get a ride to Melvin Potter’s costume shop?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”


End file.
